officialunitedstates:

bombing:

the 1700s called……they want their clothing back. haha just kidding the first telephone was invented in 1876

a good post AND i learned something.  thanks tumbrl

glamour-parade:

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

(Source: surf4ces)

witchcraftand-wizardry:

i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy

literalsame:

I HTAE BEING A TEENAGER I ALWAYS EITHER WANT TO THROW MYSELF OUT A WINDOW OR CUDDLE WITH CUT E PERSON OR EAT A COW

ciggawet:

*swipes debit card*
*sweats profusely*
*purchase goes through*
me: God is good all the time
Cashier: all the time God is good

(Source: hunnessy)

bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn